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Sorry, I'm commenting on an old post in your blog, so it may remain unnoticed, but anyway..
From my experience and understanding of life in the States (about 16 years), the critical moment is when you try to get funding. The only option, at least in practice, is to ask for money from financial/banking people.
Then they 'own' your idea/business and it stops belonging to them. You become a sort of hired gun in _their_ business - in slightly better employment to them.
And next what happens to that formerly-yours business depends on the market, competition, luck etc. etc.
To illustrate, I could remember that in the times of the dotcom bubble, when the topic of how to start your own business was paramount, I read in one of the step-by-step instructions provided by some glossy mag that the process consisted of preliminary stuff (making a prototype, creating a business plan (i.e. how to get money from this all), presenting it to the financiers -- and then they would enter into the business (if), and 'you must be prepared that at this stage you would own 20% of it'.
I.e. the coming in contact with bankers/financiers is the moment when they possess, take away your business for the sake of their own profit and speculations, and you stop being the sole owner of it. Formally it is connected with becoming a corporation that floats its shares on the market (IPO).
I remember my own naivete and thoughts about how people become richer and owners of their own enterprises -- and the answer is 'by borrowing money from the finance people and losing their ownership rights', to which there is no, zero alternative.
//not leaving my (Russian) LJ name or e-mail for now - could do it later if this comment is noticed etc.//
I am getting notifications for almost all posts/comments in my blog. :-)
I agree with pretty much everything you said. A while ago we also tried to bring a raw-cooked project to the investor's table, and even reached "Angels" group at some point. And, they declined it, as they didn't feel they can make enough money out of it. And, I can understand them, there is always a risk, associated with such investments. This explains why they usually try to get a good chunk our of your business before giving you any money.
There are very few Internet-based projects, that succeeded without a major initial investment (LJ, Facebook, etc.), but you must be extremely lucky and talented to figure out people needs and implement the right idea at the right place and on time. And, of course, figure out how to make money out of it.